The Making of a Small World

Fiction (satire) by Mike Perry

Here’s the first-ever guest post, thanks to Mike Perry! I’ve Known him for decades, and he's stepping up to inject some fresh thoughts into the blog while I'm off to Panama diving into the world of beneficial AI. Brace yourselves for a deep dive into the scarcity-or-abundance debate and the "Limits to Growth" saga when I'm back.

Dive into Mike’s tale, and you'll catch echoes of Nick Bostrom’s “Fable of the Tyrant Dragon.” Mike sparked the flame that Nick turned into a firestorm. Both stories pack a punch, skewering the unimaginative and challenging us to dream bigger.

A massive shoutout to my 500+ subscribers! You smart readers have doubled since last July — you're the ones who keep me writing. Keep tuning in for more mind-bending insights!

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This story originally appeared in Venturist Monthly News, Apr. 1989. A second, slightly updated version, with some editing suggestions by Robert Ettinger, appeared in Physical Immortality, 1 Q 2004. This version (Feb. 2024) is again lightly edited. The story was inspired by the author’s (determined) opposition to regarding obligatory death as somehow a benefit or even something “beautiful.” The illustration was adapted from a work of 19th-century graphic artist Gustave Doré.

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“You requested audience, apprentice Gorn?”

“Yes, O Great Wizard Snorrl, Lord of Galaxies, Ruler of Many Worlds, King of Evolved Immortals … .”

“Enough! What can I do for you, young fellow?”

“I’m having trouble playing God.”

“Not an uncommon thing, your first billion years (to invoke our ancient and honored time unit) … What is your problem?”

“They don’t respect me.”

“Your charges? Tell me about it.”

“Well, first I made this world, got it peopled with intelligent life, in a nice setting I had made with forests and meadows, creatures that crawled and flew and leaped and galloped, all the usual things … .”

“You got a genome permit?”

“Oh yes, all straight evolved life-forms, nothing tampered with already. …”

“Very good. Go on.”

“So then I went among the inhabitants, did good things, healed the sick, fed the hungry, spoke kind words, and … well, they … .”

“Put you to a painful death?”

“Very. Only the backup information saved me, and they would have eaten that if they could, the miserable vermin. Why if you could have seen—”

“Tell me about it later. How’re they doing now?”

“Oh, fine, just fine, ought to be applying for membership soon, which means I’ll be in a jam for overpopulating … .”

“I wouldn’t worry too much, this time. How about your next world?”

“Yes, I did made another one, and that time, I naturally tried to avoid the public spotlight, went around in secret, showing myself to a few only. …”

“And … ?”

“Well, mostly they didn’t believe I existed. And they’ll be applying for membership soon, too, and … .”

“Argh! … So twice in a row you’ve lost control after only a few thousand years.”

“Uh, about 900 years in the last case.”

“Oh, my. Well, as you know, you only have one more try at this thing. Maybe you ought to get out while the getting’s good, to avoid discredit. Take up cosmological eschatology or something respecta—”

“No! I want to build a world of primitives and keep them that way as long as possible. I want to lord it over them, century after century, millennium after millennium. I want them to sing my praises. I want it to be a long time before they become dissatisfied enough to develop and apply for membership and start playing the games we play … .”

“Still haven’t grown up, eh? Well, the rules entitle you to one more shot.”

“So what you suggest is … ?”

 “If you really must know … .”

“Of course, why did I request audience?”

“Yes, I suppose you must have your way. Well, this’ll sound crazy, but about the best strategy is to give ’em a good, severe beating every day of their lives.”

“What?”

“They’ll fear you, they’ll respect you, and they’ll love you.”

[Long pause.]

“Yes, I admit there’s a certain logic to that, but I’d have to be many places at once … use robots, of course! Big, metallic buzzing things with wings for hot pursuit and pincers for grasping and whiplash antennas for striking hard. And I know just the creatures to clone and try it on … picked up some genomes on a nice blue planet, a pretty place with a single, large satellite, I can even recreate some of their original language and culture—their year is almost the same as ours, by the way …”

“I see your mindwheels are whirring, so I’ll leave you be.”

“Yes, I must start building this world at once … .”

*        *        *        *        *

Ten thousand centuries later the Daily Globe, a leading newspaper on the world created by Gorn, reports:

WEIRD SCHEME TO DEFEAT JUST PUNISHMENT; SCIENTISTS SCOFF; ETHICISTS HOWL; LEGISLATORS VOW TO STOP IT.

A group claiming that Just Punishment is “unjust” say they believe it can be “defeated” through science. Simon Burr, spokesman for the self-styled “Committee for the Overthrow of Physical Abuse” (COPA) claims “the robots that administer our daily beatings could be destroyed through technological means,” and cites an example where a robot was held at bay for more than an hour while its intended “victim” escaped. Scientists, however, take a dim view of Burr’s proposal. Jeffrey Snag, senior researcher at Applied Mechanical and Aesthetics, a firm specializing in technology for improving the quality of life and justice, says, “The idea of interfering with such superlative machinery is just patently absurd. There’s no prospect for defeating the robots in the foreseeable future—they are simply too swift and powerful. Besides, why try for an empty ‘freedom from abuse’ anyway? What good would it do? Recently we’ve developed some tight fitting clothing to better distribute the force of the blows, and that’s what I consider progress.”

Other voices are being raised in defense of Just Punishment and similar practices among humans. Helen Bopp, spokeswoman for the Committee for Ethical Bruising, declares that “beatings are beautiful, pure and simple. I just bubble with warm feeling over the worth of welts.” She is “looking forward to an expanded role for impact therapy in human life,” and argues that “a little hand-to-hand combat from time to time could usefully augment the blessings of Just Punishment.” Asked about COPA she indignantly concludes: “Our whole society is predicated on the assumption of daily beatings which we humbly accept as a foundation of our being and a springboard for spiritual growth. When you consider all the benefits—the stability, the security, the certainty—of knowing this meaningful experience will always be with us, I don’t  see how anyone can raise an objection.” Another CEB official, Dr. Morris Tribe, takes the threat of COPA “very seriously, despite the scientific hurdles they must still surmount,” and worriedly adds: “The ending of Just Punishment would deprive us of a precious part of our humanity. I greatly fear the consequences.”

However, John Crue, a construction worker, admits he is “not entirely happy with the punishment we get for the crime of being alive” and further remarks that “being whipped like a horse by giant flying things may have its advantages, but I like it better when they stop. I don’t know how I’d adjust to no beatings, but I do consider it from time to time.”

Still, some authorities are so distressed by what they perceive as an affront to the natural order that they are taking legal action. Recently the Department of Proper Behavior filed felony charges against COPA for obstructing due process and attempted sabotage. COPA attorney Anthony Sharp denies that his organization has broken the law, arguing that “laws protect human lives and property but there is no law specifically forbidding the sort of practice that COPA is engaged in. The robots are not human property nor an endangered species. To interfere with or even destroy them is no violation of law but simply an exercise of constitutional rights.” But DPB officials are sure COPA can be challenged on legal grounds. As Chief Administrator Wilbur McTwitch put it: “The framers of the Constitution wanted to promote individual rights, but the rights of the individual must ever be subordinate to the machinery of great Gorn. I think there is legal precedent to act against those who would attempt a change on so fundamental a level, and if not it could be established. I am looking forward to this case.”